Funny Little Me

V to the I-A-N

Ho hum pig's bum. My name is Mr Fuzzy Wuzzy.
I have a donkey and I ride it into the depths of rainbows and everything shiny and colourful.
Why should you believe whatever people tell you? Because for all you know, they're just out to mock you.
My name is VIVIAN. Ex-hongwener, current Anglicaner/Anglicanian.
I am a totally lovable kiddo whose birthday falls on 24.05.1996. You know what to do, don't you?
Hi bye.

The 'day sky' is light blue right? So, like, the sky wants people to be all bright during the day. Then when it's the "night sky" people are tired from being happy, so the sky wants them to get rest.

The Way Out

Let's Say Goodbye

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Saturday, July 30, 2011 3:46 PM

28. Misunderstandings ;

Misunderstandings .

I hate 'em .

Because one misunderstanding can ruin a relationship .

Be it friendship , boy-girl relationships , parent-child relationships , all sorts .

Kinda sucks , doesn't it ?

Why does it have to exist ?

Annoying max .

So misunderstandings happen when one person isn't clear enough of his/her words .

Or maybe there was some conflict in them .

And a third person comes in , rub some salt , pats his butt , and leaves .

Otherwise it's just bad communication .

This means we lack of communication .

I checked dictionary.com , and this is what "misunderstanding" means :

[mis-uhn-der-stan-ding]
mis·un·der·stand·ing

–noun
1.
failure to understand correctly; mistake as to meaning or intent.
2.
a disagreement or quarrel.

So misunderstandings results in quarrels , yes ?

Well , not always , but still , the people involved in the misunderstanding stop talking to each other .

They become mad at each other , they refuse to talk to each other , but they know , they miss each other .

People act they don't care about the other party in misunderstandings .

But if they didn't care , they wouldn't be thinking about them every single day .

I guess misunderstandings between a guy and a girl can be a good thing .

Because , maybe , just maybe , they think about each other every day , thanks to this misunderstanding .

Has anyone ever wondered how to clear a misunderstanding ?

It's to confront each other , face to face , innit ?

I guess that's one way .

But what if you're unable to clear it face to face ?

Let it stay as a misunderstanding ?

As a Gemini , I don't like misunderstandings .

I don't like to be misunderstood .

I'd rather have a face-to-face confrontation . At least , I know where I went wrong .

It's scary how misunderstandings can cause 2 people to stop talking to each other .

Like , total avoidance .

It's scary , the way it works .

And it's all in the mind , in the brain .

We think too much .

Humans , think too much .

Some are afraid to confront others , because they think too much , like , bombard themselves with meaningless questions .

Some think that there's no point in confrontation , because it'll just lead to more quarrels , more fights , and nothing resolved . They think there's nothing they can do about it .

And some people , well ...

Let's just say they don't even dare to try .

And I guess I'm one of these people .

They don't have the guts to try asking , try resolving it .

Because they have already given up hope .

They're worried of what would the other person reply .

They're worried , what if they screw up ?

And this is , once again , all part of the brain's work .

We think too much , too deep , such that we become afraid of it .

Coming to think of it , minds are such scary things too .

Everything that we can't touch , we can't see , but we know it exists , they're scary .

And I'm not talking about the supernatural or aliens and whatnots .

I'm just saying , things , such as :

- the mind

- misunderstandings

- hatred

- jealousy

- greed

- popularity

- fame

- pride

- thoughts

- stupidity

LOL , just joking about the stupidity thing . Is there something called "idiocy" ?

OMG , I don't know .

[...]

OHMYGOSH .

THERE IS A WORD CALLED "IDIOCY" .

It means "the state of being an idiot" .

An utter idiot like me !

I deserve a pat on the back for coming up with a word that I've never seen or heard before , but it exists .

I'm so proud of myself , I can kiss my elbows and say "good job" .

Back to the point , I'm talking about how scary certain things are .

And reading through that list , you'll realise that yes , those things are known to mankind , but we can't touch them .

We're unable to use our 5 senses to detect them , except feelings .

FEEL IS NOT ONE OF THE 5 SENSES , TOUCH IS .

And so , well yes .

Now on with the conclusion .

So what triggered the switch in my mind to write a blog post on misunderstandings , was you , again .

So well , I'm sorry , for "rejecting" you many times .

But I need to clarify , I never did once , "rejected" you .

Take the ECP thing , for example .

I never said no , I don't remember saying it .

I welcomed you to join me .

In fact , I do remember saying yes .

Just me and you . I didn't mind .

I never said no .

And then , came the Pooh present .

I'm really grateful for it , and well , I guess I just didn't phrase my words well on that day .

That day , 19th May 2011 .

See , I still remember .

I guess guys and girls take words differently .

When I said "I didn't want the present" , I meant it this way ,

I'm not worth the present you're giving me , don't spend so much on me . I'll feel guilty !

I didn't mean it as ,

Hey , don't give me the present , I don't like you .

I guess you took it the wrong way .

But it's too late to apologize anyway .

Just let things go with the flow .

Till then , bye !

~~You broke it once , and you won't break it again .~~

~~I won't let you .~~

~~Watch me .~~

Wednesday, July 27, 2011 9:24 PM

27. Pride

Hey guys .

So now I'm on this rant , like how I promised Crystal .

The reason for this rant is because of some emotions .

Inexplainable , inexplicable , really .

I'm just gonna try churning this emotion out . Like a machine .

Let's go .

So I'm talking about pride .

I'm not sure whether this fact is true : Guys have more pride than girls .

It appears so . I think , it's true .

And I have a logical explanation to prove it .

So I've heard some things , I'm not sure whether you meant it or not .

You sounded like you meant it , and being the gullible me , I believed it .

Whether it was true or not , Heaven knows , Hell knows and you know .

But I don't .

And I choose not to accept this cold , harsh reality .

Not that I'm still in denial .

I'm just disappointed .

Disappointed not because of the harsh words , but because you chose not to tell me straight in the face .

I wouldn't have minded if you just pushed the truth into my face .

I wouldn't have minded if the truth slapped me to wake me up .

I wouldn't have minded if you told me , yourself .

But since you didn't , yes , I do mind .

Instead of being sad because of what you said , I feel pissed .

Like , wtf ?

Did your pride eat you up or something ?

So it was all a misunderstanding ?

It was all something that was thought in my head ?

It was all part of my imagination ?

I doubt so . And you know what's the answer to these questions .

Look , I already regret falling into this pit .

I already regret liking you , alright ?

I regret all this shit , because I feel stupid .

Like I'm the one being really , really gullible . Naive .

Is it because I didn't reciprocate , according to Crystal ?

And so , you said those just to salvage your pride ?

gosh .

Okay , I know pride is something really important to a guy .

But this doesn't mean that girls don't have prides too .

By saying those , you took away my pride instead .

So you think I really don't feel anything ? Bullshit .

Pride , kills .

Just like how curiosity kills the cat .

If this carries on in all guys , I'm just saying , there will be a new saying .

"Pride kills the man ."

Seriously , all these pride that guys hold dear to themselves , makes girls disgusted .

It's the pride that's holding you back , I'm guessing ?

It's the pride , the face , that y'all try so hard to save , so that you don't disgrace yourself .

And by doing this , you sacrifice a girl .

You think you're still in the olden days , where 2 girls = 1 pig ?

ANCIENT DUDE .

Imma shake my ass when it's 2 guys = 1 pig . Ha .

Has anyone ever wondered , how girls remember every word that a guy says , crystal clear ?

Like , the words are ringing in the girl's mind every second , every minute .

I don't know how it works too , but I know , it affects the girl a lot .

Just like the saying :

"Tell a girl she's beautiful a million times , she would blush and deny it .
Tell a girl she's ugly just once , and she remembers it for life ."

So even just something simple like :

"Hey , I'm busy , talk to you later ."

It sets the girl thinking .

When is he going to reply me ?

What is he busy with ?

WHEN IS LATER ?!

Is this an excuse to stop talking to me ?

What if he doesn't reply me ?

Does he dislike me ?

How should I react ?

He's not even my boyfriend , why do I care ?

He's not gonna stop talking to me , right ?

What if he does ?

Should I send him a text to remind him ?

No wait , that would make me sound desperate and annoying .

But I don't wanna wait for him to text me .

Cos what if he doesn't ?

But if I don't text him first , he might not text me back !

So , should I text him ?

Forget it , I don't wanna sound irritating , I'm just gonna wait .

Or maybe pretend to send him a wrong text .

Just in a minute , all these questions run through her brain .

You know how frustrating it is ?

Dammit .

But still , I'm supposed to talk about pride .

I don't know how to continue , but I'll just say :

"Dude , swallow your pride and you'll get more than what you sow ."

~~Did you see the picture up there ?~~

~~I do remember , but I don't think you do .~~

~~Do you ?~~

~~We didn't share much memories , but why are you so impactful ?~~

~~I promised myself I would forget you , and so I will .~~

~~Watch me .~~

Thursday, July 21, 2011 5:40 PM

26. What if ;

Isn't this girl just pretty ?
She looks pretty even when she's furrowing her eyebrows .
When I furrow my eyebrows , I just look like an annoyed bunny . Not cool .
And I love her shirt !
Although I don't know what the words are , but I see Pinocchio .
One day when my eyes are that big , (not like Pinocchio's , like the girl's) , I shall treat everyone to Koi .
LOL , don't bother waiting for it , I have small eyes ):

Yknow , I was just telling Venice this afternoon ,
"Do metal bras exist ?"
Yknow , for double protection ...? :\
It seems kinda illogical . Why would someone need a metal bra ?
Maybe like ,

WHEN YOU GO TO A BOYS SCHOOL FOR OVERNIGHT CAMPS AND YOU FEEL INSECURE .

Just exaggerating . Not pointing THE finger at anyone .
But then metal bras would be pretty heavy .
3kg ? Just an estimation . That's heavy .
And , on hot days , you can cook a sunny side up egg !
That ain't so bad .
The only flaw might just be the weight .
AND MAYBE BURNING YOUR BODY . LOL .
But on the bright side , when the rapist wants to strip you , he needs a great deal of muscles .
What am I talking about . What a sensitive topic .

I really want a DSLR camera .
Not the really big and professional ones , just the small cute ones will do .
Like the one in the picture . It looks so ... cute .
I can't describe , LOL .
But I always had the same dream .
Me , you , a beach , a DSLR camera and a video camera .
We can shoot some memories , having fun together , absorbed in our twosome world .
Just you and me .
Of course that's not gonna work out .
Cos' this is a one-sided crush .
And , Singapore doesn't have a beach . Well not the one I pictured .
Thirdly , it's not gonna work out between you and me .
Still in denial .

But still , that doesn't mean I don't want a DSLR camera .
With or without you , that camera shall and will be mine .
In future , if I don't squander my money away on useless stuff .
Which I prolly will since I don't know how to plan my money well .
Which means I have to go for some $$$ management course .
Must be boring , administrative stuff , and accountancy stuff .
I don't even know how much I have in my wallet now :\
No wonder papa says I don't realise the importance of money .
Hmm . Maybe because there are more important things than money , to me .

"To like you , or not to like you , that is the question ."

There's a saying ,

"99.9% of me wants to give up so badly , but it's the 0.01% that keeps me going ."

Now do you get what I mean ?

Monday, July 4, 2011 10:51 AM

25. I BOX YOU ;

SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE BOXING YOU YKNOW .

BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX BOX .

Sunday, July 3, 2011 10:04 PM

24. Breakdown ;

It’s one of those breakdowns I’m having again.

It’s no surprise that the cause of these breakdowns are you.

You’ll never understand how great of an influence you can be to me.

And when you avoid me.

Nothing happens.

I just sit here, and cry.

Breakdown.

You’re my everything I need you in my life
It’s not time for us to break up yet, we still have a bit of time
Don’t you know that I’m the only person who can make you smile
You’re also the only person who can make me smile

My heart is about to explode and I hear your heart
You seem like you don’t care as my voice shakes
My tears keep falling but I hide it as if I’m not
Now everything between me and you is over

Love is over the promise with you
Love is over the times with you
Love is erased, no matter how much I try to call out for it

My heart I left vacant is waiting for you (What do I do, what do I do without you)
My spot which has been erased is telling me to go far away (What do I do, what do I do without you)
No matter how much I wait, I can’t see you ever again now
I can’t erase you and each stupid day
Will never end

My heart I can’t stop Break Down
Your heart which I can’t have Break Down
Trying to forget you as I close my eyes,
My heart I can’t stop Break Down

With the alcohol I consumed yesterday, I try to hold onto my sore insides as I open my eyes
As soon as I wake up, it bothers me instantly as if it was expected
A breakup I can’t accept and that I want to step over all the moments I loved you to get away from this

Love is over the promise with you
Love is over the times with you
Love is erased, no matter how much I try to call out for it

My heart I left vacant is waiting for you (What do I do, what do I do without you)
My spot which has been erased is telling me to go far away (What do I do, what do I do without you)
No matter how much I wait, I can’t see you ever again now
I can’t erase you and each stupid day
Will never end

My heart I can’t stop Break Down
Your heart which I can’t have Break Down
Trying to forget you as I close my eyes,
My heart I can’t stop Break Down

Your voice that rings in my ears to the point where I’m tired of it
The Melody that can’t be washed away by the noise of the complicated city
The times with you have suddenly gone far away with the wind
They’ve flown away so far where I can’t reach out with my hands Our Memory

My heart I left vacant is waiting for you (What do I do, what do I do without you)
My spot which has been erased is telling me to go far away (What do I do, what do I do without you)
No matter how much I wait, I can’t see you ever again now
I can’t erase you and each stupid day
Will never end

My heart I can’t stop Break Down
Your heart which I can’t have Break Down
Trying to forget you as I close my eyes,
My heart I can’t stop Break Down

And I thought you cared.

Well, bullshit for me then.

12:27 AM

23. Teardrops on her Guitar ;

For the 37th time that week , she lost her guitar pick .
Frustrated , annoyed , and desperate , she slammed her guitar down , the old brown guitar pegs complaining in sharp creaks .
Screw all these , she thought .
Things weren't going well for her . She wasn't the brightest kid in school , she wasn't the prettiest , nor the most popular .
And now she can't even find a tiny guitar pick .
She winced , as a guitar string snapped , leaving a bloody red slash on her index finger .
A silent drop of tear rolled down her porcelain cheek , dripping off her chin , and falling onto her self-designed guitar .
She brought her hand to her face , and hastily wiped the trails of tears away from her face , smearing her face with salty tears and blood .
She knew , her heart was bleeding as well , just like her finger .
She knew , her heart was tearing as well , just like her .
And she knew , tears can be wiped off and cuts can be healed , but her heart will remain torn .
He once told her that she was awesome , because she knew how to play the acoustic guitar .
And she once told him , that any guy that could play an instrument , was wonderful .
She meant what she said .
But she wasn't sure of whether he meant what he said .
She once promised to play a song for him at the beach .
Although she didn't tell him , because she wanted to make it a surprise .
But blissful periods were short .
Before she could even strum one note for him , he left her .
Silent , unknowingly , but yet , painful .
Blood from her finger trickled down , seeping through the guitar sash and her bedsheets .
She wondered whether he would even bother about her now .
And she guessed , he wouldn't .
With her shoulders slumped in depression , she picked up her guitar carefully and gently strummed the remaining strings .
They sounded solemn and stale , with no expressions .
Another drop of tear fell onto her guitar .
She knew they were impossible , she knew he wouldn't be back .
But she hopes , she dreams , and she imagines .
This adds on to more pain , more struggles , and more heartbreaks .
Seeing him so happy , so carefree , she feels happy for him , yet sad for herself .
She wonders how he can be so happy while she's going through such a difficult period .
She wonders why he cannot be with her , accompanying her through this time .
She wonders what she did wrong .
She wonders why he's doing this .
She wonders what would happen if time could rewind .

Thank you for the times , the memories .

Saturday, July 2, 2011 11:18 PM

22. Frustration ;

Honestly I think my bangs are too long , maybe ?
Okay yes they are , they're practically covering my eyes .
I wonder how I see .
Oh yeah , that explains why I'm still so blinded by you .
Using Pudding Camera in a very long time . The blurry effects are not exactly my favourite :x
Still sticking to Instagram !

Yknow , sometimes , I just wish this was me and you .

"I don't just wanna be Duce , and Dina . I wanna be Duce and Dina ." - Shake It Up

Do you see my Eeyore lurking in the corner , do you ?!
Or maybe my face's just too big -.- Sorry .
Trying to wink nicely but apparently failed . Gah .
Winking is a bad idea .
WHY YOONA CAN WINK SO WELL ): have to start using standard English .
Please vian please .
I love the name Jo . I wish I was called Jo !

Sometimes you make me frustrated .
Scratch that , you always do .
It's like , for example , whether to buy you a birthday present or not .
It's like , part of me wants to buy you want .
But another part of me tells me it's not worth it .
It's hard making a decision .
I always had a hard time making decisions .
This one was exceptionally hard .
Even after deleting your number .
Even after promising myself not to , never again , would I think of you .
It's hard .
You know what you did to me ?
You tied me up in chains , labeling them with your name .
And oops , you didn't know you did that cos' I didn't let you know .
I'm sorry I didn't tell you .
I thought you wouldn't be interested to know anyway .
Yknow what I think of when I see lovesick girls ?
Envy , that's right .
Because they're not only lovesick , they're in love , and the person behind all those , actually cares for them .
I know , maybe I'm just ugly , or something .
Then you shouldn't have lifted up my hopes initially .
I'm handcuffed , I'm tied up , and I'm locked up .
When I read other people's blogs , I see them talking about the guys of their dreams , and I see the description of their interaction .
Not that I'm really desperate or anything , but I can't help but feel jealous .
I wish we were like that .
Why can't I read you like others ?
Why are you so ... complicated ?
I hate that I love you .

8:41 PM

21. Stalking 101 ;

Went to Faith's house to do project during the last few days of the June holidays !
Which passed so horribly and so quickly I really wanna rant on it but I shall control myself .
Anyway , went there to finish off our SS project , which is a video on the Sri Lanka conflict but I don't think anyone's interested .
So , as the title states , "STALKING 101 ."
Not that I didn't have a role to play in the video , but I wasn't the main , so I could slackk off like some pig :D
And so I took some pictures !
We took 2 days to finish off the video so this is the first day's photos .
QIANYU THE REPORTER UP THERE .
He took up a lot of roles . .__. good example of a good group leader !
*salutes*

Daniel's a Tamil . I mean , he's acting as a Tamil .
Qianyu is like , helping him to make his skirt .
What's the thing that Tamil guys wear ? I forgot :x
But yeah , it's Faith's towel , LOL !
And we used a clip to fasten it on .

So this is the process of Daniel and Qianyu trying to fix Daniel's skirt . LOL .

Faith and Stella watching in amazement . It was quite funny , I was laughing hard . :D
Daniel was like , fumbling with the towel .

Pretty Eliza ! She has super duper long , straight and soft hair that I like a lot . :D
Andand , she's glam ! Wow .

What's with the skirt ?! Took us like , 30 minutes to get the skirt done and not dropping .

Is this a duplicate ? :x

FAITH IN HER RED STUDENT CAMP 2010 SHIRT ! :D

Qianyu drawing his moustache and holding on to the ... What do you call it ?
Yknow the thing you use to hang clothes ?
Yeah ...

Drawing his moustache mm-hmm .

Now he's cutting it .

Eliza braiding her super long hair !

HAHAHAHAHA , I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS IS . SOME SRI LANKA OFFICIAL BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED .
Because he has a moustache erlack .
And we even translated some Tamil words that I don't comprehend but it's still cool .